Understanding Love is Actionable

Definition of LOVE 1. Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>

Definition of ACTIONABLE  [ak-shuh-nuh-buhl]–adjective 1. Demonstratable: Relating to or being information that allows a decision to be made or action to be taken. 2. ready to go or be put into action; ready for use: demonstrable.


Many people, including addicts say they “love” someone with deep conviction. If you ask them, “do you love your mother?” they will state, “more than anything in the world.”

Most people have someone in their life that they “love” dearly and they’re not afraid to tell you about it. If you ask them, “would you take a bullet to save your mom, sister, brother, husband, etc.” they will respond, “yes, of course. I wouldn’t hesitate.”

Now when, you ask an addict, “has the person you claim to love, ever made any request of you with regards to getting high?” They often hesitate, and then say, “well mom, wife, etc. did ask me to stop getting high.”

“Well, did you honor their request?”

“No, but it’s hard to stop….”


If you claim to love someone, than you have contracted with them to care. You have told them and others that the person you love means a great deal to you. When you love someone in a real way, their needs, feelings, and health matter to you. In the real world we see people sacrifice, money, food, and other things to help someone that they love. In the real world we see humans take risks protecting and defending the people that they love.

If you love someone in a healthy way, then you should be willing to sacrifice for them. If you are willing to die for them, why wouldn’t you be willing to get sober for them? If you are willing to give them protection and would defend them from an intruder, then why wouldn’t you be willing to protect and defend them from the pain of your active addiction?


Active addiction is selfish, self-absorbed, and self-centered.

Recovery is self-less, self-aware, and self-sacrifice.

Please make your love real. Please make your love demonstratable. Please make your love actionable.